Jack called me last night. I have only spoken to him once since the last time I saw him about 9 years ago. Jack was an army sniper in Vietnam. He saw lots of action, the kind Hollywood celebrates, that wows young men, the kind of action that fuels Rambo type movies, but also the kind of action that causes an older reflective man to wake up in cold sweats. Strangely enough I met Mason, another Vietnam war vet army sniper about 5 years ago. He saw the same kind of action. The kind of action that plays on a man’s nerves years later. (The names are not real, the people are).
Strangely enough, they had the same question, how can I be forgiven for taking another man’s life? The question is still alive and well with our military today, police officers who have to kill in the line of work, prison executioners, and even home owners who while protecting themselves or their family have to take the life of someone else in order to protect themselves or their families.
What is a man or woman to do when the stark cold reality hits that they took a person’s life from them. They have entered into the realm of eternity and have made the appointment with their Maker as the Bible says. (See Hebrews 9:27). And now the one who had to take their life in self-defense, military call of duty, or law enforcement is now facing guilt, shame, and an overwhelming sense of a need for forgiveness.
What is this person to do? I want you to consider seven things that will help you overcome these haunting memories.
First, you need to understand God’s perspective. What you did, did not surprise God. He knows it, saw it, and could have stopped it. Why didn’t He? I don’t know. That is part of getting God’s perspective. God never said “Thou Shalt Not Kill.” He did say “You shall not MURDER.” (Exodus 20:13). Some older translations (ASV, AV, KJV, RSV) wrongly translate this passage as “Thou Shalt Not Kill.” The Hebrew word used is the one for murder – taking one’s life without just cause. These two concepts, “Killing” and “Murder”, are worlds apart. The Bible is replete with examples of God giving governments to carry out capital punishment, to make war, and for individuals to protect themselves and their families. (see Genesis 9:5-6, Romans 13:1-7). If God’s Word said that you cannot kill and then God tells the nation of Israel to make war on a certain nation, or for them to kill someone who murdered someone else – wouldn’t that make God kinda schizophrenic? God would be telling us not to do one thing and then telling us it was ok another time. That is not the character of God. Study God’s Word, the Bible, and find out for yourself. There are dozens of passages describing these type of issues.
Second, pray. Pray for the family and friends of the one who died. There is no need praying for the person who died – there is no help for them now. They are either in heaven or hell. Jesus said to pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, so the closest one you can pray for is the person’s family and friends. Pray for yourself. This will keep you from becoming bitter and hardening your heart against them. You don’t need to become a casualty of bitterness. Bitterness is nothing but a slow form of suicide. Pray that God will deliver you from this emotional torment. Get alone with God and tell Him everything that is going on in your heart and mind.
Third, don’t buy the lie of a being a life-long victim of the choice you made. You don’t have to live a life of torment over this issue. You don’t have to be a victim of these actions. The devil would like to try to make you a casualty in this battle. He would like to try to kill you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Stop blaming. The blame game helps no one. Own the responsibility for it and accept that God’ wants to carry you through this to a place of healing.
Fourth, forgive. If you were justified in your actions, then that doesn’t mean you will not have feelings of guilt and remorse. You might need to wonder about yourself if you didn’t/don’t. Forgive the person, anyone else, and forgive yourself. Stop holding whatever against the person who was killed, or whoever was pushing their buttons, or whoever helped put you in the position to do what you did. Forgive yourself. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to forgive yourself. If you were acting justly in self defense, law enforcement, or military orders then you shouldn’t need to forgive yourself. But if you feelings are shattered and torn, then forgive yourself. Ask God to help you. If you feel there was sin in your heart when you did it and you feel like you need forgiveness from God, but you also believe you were totally justified in doing this – then go ahead and ask God for forgiveness. God will forgive you, heal you, and restore you.
Fifth, walk in God’s grace. God loves you. But the most important thing is that God loves you and has a plan for your life. He wants you to know Him, have eternal life, have forgiveness, and know that when you die that you will go directly into the presence of Jesus to be welcomed into His arms and Heaven. God loves you and cares for you. Read these verses and ask God to help you understand them. (John 3:16-17, 1 John 5:13, Romans 3:23, 5:8-10, 6:23, Ephesians 2:8-9, and Romans 10:9-13). God loves you and wants you to live a full and meaningful life. Jesus said, “The thief only comes to steal, kill and destroy. But I have come that you may have life and have it more abundantly!” (John 10:10).
Sixth, get in a Bible teaching church. Join a Bible study and let those people pray for you and walk with you through this. You will never regret it. Read God’s Word, memorize God’s Word (begin with Psalm 23, John 3, 10, 15), and allow it to saturate your life.
Seventh, learn God’s Word, walk with God, and walk by faith. Trust God to carry you through the dark season of your life. You can come through it – if you allow God to carry you. Walk by faith in God and continue to do your job.
